Rural Philosopy

[Gade Terbob]

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well, and was astonished at what he saw. As every shovel of dirt hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed, as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.

The Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
>Each of our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

O.K., that's enough of that touchy feely.... The donkey later came back, caught the farmer out in the field and kicked the taste out of his mouth. Then he went over to each of his neighbor's farms and kicked the stuffing out of them too for helping.

The REAL Moral: When you try to cover your ass, it ALWAYS comes back to
get you.

[admin]

Too funny!

[Gade Terbob]

I don't know who said this. Wish it had been me.

Good Ole Texas Texans needn't fear O'Sammy Been Lodding or So**** Insane. Shucks, they ain't nothing. As a Texan for more than 60 years and an honorably discharged veteran, I'm getting a big laugh over the statements of O'Sammy Been Lodding, So****, the Taliban, our politicians and the media. They talk of what to expect from terrorists, but we Texans have lived with greater dangers for years and survived.

I'll bet O'Sammy has never seen a Texas tornado that levels homes and peels up the asphalt on the roads.. How about hailstones as big as golf balls, or a blue norther that drops the temperature 40 degrees in minutes? O'Sammy has probably seen 100-plus-degree summers in Afghanistan, but I bet he doesn't have fire ants. He and his buddies talk about the pain and suffering they're going to inflict upon us.
He doesn't know what pain is until he gets kicked by a green-broke, 2-year-old colt in the dead of winter. You've heard of anthrax. I've been around cattle for years and have never seen a case, but I have seen "mad cow disease." Every old mama cow that we worked, and separated from her calf, got mad. They talk of germ warfare. Texas ticks will give you Rocky Mountain spotted fever and Lymes disease, and our mosquitoes seem to be direct descendants of woodpeckers. We have blister beetles that can kill your horse and green bugs that will destroy a wheat crop. West Texas prairie dogs carry the plague, our armadillos carry leprosy, and skunks carry rabies. Maybe we should send over a few of our varmints and show the Taliban what the word terror really means.

Texas has goat-heads, cactus, mesquite, honey locust thorns, bull nettle and poison ivy. Everything that grows in our pastures will either stick you or stab you. I'll bet O'Sammy has never seen a cottonmouth water moccasin, a diamondback rattler or a copperhead. We have squadrons of yellow jackets and bumblebee bombers. Have you ever stepped on a Texas scorpion in your bare feet?
O'Sammy talks of gas and biological warfare. He has never pulled in behind a cattle truck while it's raining, or ridden in the cab of a pickup truck between two other cowboys after they've just eaten a big bowl of Texas red beans.

No, O'Sammy, you and all your buddies can't terrorize Texas or Texans. If you think you can, come on over. You will find out right quick why we buy U.S. tools made by Ruger, Colt, Remington and Smith & Wesson. We load them with U. S. products made by Winchester, Remington, Speer and Federal. We use these tools on varmints; and for protection. We also buy US tools made by Case, Buck and Schrade. We use these tools to change ornery bulls into calm steers and rank studs into gentle geldings. We call it an "attitude adjustment." We have an abundance of good tools in Texas, and we know how to use them. Texans, and my kinfolk have dealt with your kind for hundreds of years. The fact that I'm here tells me that we can survive. We have posted signs all over the state that say, "Don't Mess With Texas-Consider yourself warned.

[bellgamin]

The problem with Saddam is, when they circumcised him, they threw away the wrong part. :p

[Nedani]

The one who seeds wind, harvests tempest.

[rlane]

Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it.

[Gnomercy]

Yeah, then it's worthless :)

[Gade Terbob]

{rhetorical on} If congressional talk is cheap and worthless, why does it always cost us so much??
{rehtorical off}

[rlane]

My point exactly!

[Gnomercy]

There's a difference between worthless and inexpensive. ;)